jack o’lantern tinder

October 30

Dear Les,

What’s a queer

up in the ether

in the basement sweeping cobwebs

or admiring clouds past a steeple

what’s self love and honesty

what’s advertising and marketing

on a smartphone for hand

holding and/or

finding midnight

snacks with somebody

What’s looking through ads when you never even

used to know about Black Friday

I couldn’t tell you a penny from

a sigh, couldn’t tell you

a nickle from a dime, and nope

I’m not placing a value

on anybody

I’m wondering about lots of things

including tinder, and

why it feels like

I’ve stacked kindling

to burn artery and vain

with a lick, with a spit of flame

it’s difficult to swipe right or left

when you are shy

about swiping right on yourself

I’ve built this ship to do things other than sail

and swipe right

or swipe at all

Back to the beginning—

spiders weave clouds that catch

instead of give

They glow

once you see them

Fish flit below the hull of this ship

and I’m a queer up in here

what of it

My Snapchat Story Peptalk Before Coming Out

July 1

Hey Les,

While working up to coming out to my parents as nonbinary last week, I restlessly snapped some photos of my carpet (after a couple of my funny, angsty little face and messy top knot) and gave myself some advice.

I first uploaded that snapstory (a slideshow of those photos with the text I added)to share here, but I just couldn’t keep it. The video was gigantic and I can’t stand the idea of my face taking up someone’s entire screen for a couple photos when my carpet is the real MVP anyway. So I snagged the individual photos and wrangled them together.

Screen Shot 2016-07-01 at 5.03.09 PM.png

Screen Shot 2016-07-01 at 5.03.33 PM.png


 

Here is the advice I gave myself:

  1. Collect yourself. Be in a good emotional place
  2. Ask the other party when is a good time for them
  3. Begin with much regard for the wellbeing of everyone in the room
  4. Some casual conversation is good. It’s not the end of the world here.
  5. 4? 5? (I lose track of time so easily on snapchat) Listen to your better instincts
  6. Let’s call this 6: No matter how it goes, love yourself for being brave enough
  7.  No matter how things go, find something to smile and celebrate afterwards [like trees or the moon]
  8. And breathe.

Maybe even laugh at the business carpeting in your bedroom


What advice would you include?